Tuesday, 9 April 2013

Tantalizing Tuesday First birthday hop -9 April: The Mission

Happy Birthday Teasers. Tantalizing Tuesday is one year old so this week is a special week. The teasers have a birthday theme and there are prizes to be won. Our teasers are awesome, so show them some love. You may win a birthday prize.
Birthday Teasers

My teaser is called The Mission If you comment and join my blog you could be in with a chance of winning a NNP gift voucher to the value of $20. The giveaway is open till Friday 12 April and the winner will be chosen by random.org


Captain Miles sat in his chair and looked over at his second in command. This was the first time Officer Willow had gone on a mission with him and he was pleased with their work.  He requested an up to date report. Willow immediately responded by pressing a few buttons and reporting the results.

“This area seems friendly, Captain. The air is good to breathe on the planet. Our estimated touchdown is in five minutes.”

“That’s pleasing to hear, Willow. Let us hope that is a true reading. We had better make sure of protection when exploring.

“Yes Captain.”

The landing however was a rocky one. “Hold on to your instruments,” shouted the captain. “Turn the main screen and speakers on, I want to see what this place is like.”

Officer Willow obeyed the order. Then twisting an earpiece said, “There is life there, and voices. Let me try to work out what is being said.”

Captain Miles spoke through a microphone. “We come in peace.”

A voice replied, “You are welcome. Come and join the celebrations."

  Miles hugged Willow. “Happy Birthday Sis.” He helped her out of the tree house. “Hurry up, we have a party to go to.
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This competition is now closed
Congratulations go to Jake Malden



12 comments:

  1. Fantastic teaser, lol. You had me wondering where you were going with this and then boom, lol.

    Great stuff :-)

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  2. i had no idea what to expect,and it was brilliant :)

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  3. Aw, that was lovely, really lovely!

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  4. Great tease Naomi totally unexpected

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  5. Great tease, Naomi and Happy Birthday!!!

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  6. This is so adorable, I LOVED it. I never had a tree house, but my brothers and I built a fort underneath a table by throwing blankets over it to block out the light. We'd climb under that table and pretend all kinds of make-believe adventures. Using our imaginations was how we had fun before video games were invented.

    Excellent Ms. Naomi, excellent indeed.

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  7. Your twist at the end had me fooled in more than one way. I was so involved with the captain and his mate, I assumed officer Willow was a man. And to think it was a surprise for his sister for her birthday party. Great!

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  8. A beautiful tease and definitely not what I expected.

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  9. Very cute, Naomi, and very fun. The dialogue works perfectly both as the archetypal sci-fi scenario we are initially imagining and as the kids' game it turns out to be. Splendid piece of flash birthday fiction.

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  10. Oh! This is so sweet! I loved it!

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