Saturday, 22 October 2016

Weekend Writing Warriors ~ 23 October 2016: The Locket




Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors, the weekly hop for everyone who loves to write!Wonderful authors share an 8-10 sentence of a completed work or WIP on Sunday. All comments are greatly appreciated. So follow the links to read and enjoy.

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  This week I have another snippet from my WIP The Locket. While Jake is away at his conference, his widowed father has an unexpected visitor.



George shuffled, heavy footed in his worn out old slippers to the front door. On the doorstep, stood a woman in her latter twenties, of medium height, with soft dark curls that tumbled down over the shoulders of her white Macintosh. George recognized her immediately as Beth, the wife of his son, Jake. He could tell something was wrong, however; the usual sparkling blue eyes seemed to be fighting back tears, and her full pink lips had a tremble in them.

“Hello George,” she finally managed to mumble. I hope you don’t mind me calling unannounced. I didn't know who else to turn to”

“Well, I must admit, you're the last person I expected to see, but you had better come in." He smiled and ushered Beth inside.
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33 comments:

  1. Elyzabeth M. VaLey23 October 2016 at 11:25

    Oh no. Why is she so upset? Great snippet.

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  2. Naomi Shaw23 October 2016 at 12:54

    Thanks Elyzabeth :)

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  3. Unknown23 October 2016 at 13:10

    Sounds like she's about to bring some bad news. I wonder what it is?

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  4. HistorySleuth23 October 2016 at 13:59

    Nice snippet cliffhanger! Did hubby cheat? Did he get hurt? Why do to the dad? Well done.

    History Sleuth's Mysteries

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  5. Julie Evelyn Joyce23 October 2016 at 14:11

    Nice set-up here! I look forward to reading more next week! :)

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  6. Kim M23 October 2016 at 14:18

    Very clever hook, Naomi. We are agog, to find out what has brought Beth to George's door like that!

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  7. Jessica E. Subject23 October 2016 at 15:06

    Oh gosh! I'm curious to know what happened. Very intriguing!

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  8. Amy Braun23 October 2016 at 15:57

    Wonder what brought her to his door... interesting!

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  9. Alexis Duran23 October 2016 at 16:43

    I seem to remember Jake was getting into trouble last week. Did his wife find out? Nice suspense in this snippet.

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  10. Daryl Devoré23 October 2016 at 17:14

    Poignant scene. What trouble is brewing?
    Tweeted.

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  11. Charmaine Gordon23 October 2016 at 17:27

    Right away the reader feel compassion for her. You paint a vivid picture of the older man shuffling in his slippers and the daughter-in -law in trouble.

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  12. Rachel de Vine23 October 2016 at 18:29

    Great snippet. I will now have to find out what has brought her to her father-in-law's door, seeking help.

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  13. Veronica Scott23 October 2016 at 19:32

    Intriguing beginning and now I'm on the edge of my chair wondering what's wrong, so that's an effective excerpt for sure!

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  14. Elaine Cantrell24 October 2016 at 01:06

    What could be wrong? Nicely done.

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  15. Karen Michelle Nutt24 October 2016 at 01:53

    Probably not good news. Intrigued to know.

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    Replies
    1. Naomi Shaw24 October 2016 at 11:07

      All will be revealed soon. Thanks for commenting Karen

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  16. Unknown24 October 2016 at 02:09

    Jake is away, so he might not be the source of the problem... or maybe he is. So many possibilities, none of them good. I hope he can help, she seems quite upset!

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  17. Jenna24 October 2016 at 03:04

    She's unexpected and upset. This doesn't bode well for Jake, I think. Gives a great sense of foreboding. Great job!

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  18. Elizabeth Alsobrooks27 October 2016 at 21:48

    Oh, interesting way to meet daddy. How intriguing! Of course we want to know what is so wrong she just shows up on her father-in-law's doorstep uninvited, and alone...

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  19. Naomi Shaw27 October 2016 at 22:53

    Thanks for dropping by, reading and commenting. More next week

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I long to know what you think. So please leave me a comment

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