It's Thursday and time for some awesome writers to give a short taster of their amazing work. It can be a WIP or completed work. So please show some love and leave a comment on their work. It helps and encourages each writer. This week my excerpt is another from the WIP called The Inheritance.
Frank has just come out of a boring lecture, and met up with fellow student, Saskia. Enjoy
Thursday Tasters
“Hey Saskia, do you fancy a coffee?” Frank smiled warmly at a petite blonde student as she walked out of the lecture theatre. He bent down and picked up the books that Saskia, startled at his speaking to her, had dropped. “That was one boring lecture and I need waking up. I wondered, would you like to join me, I could do with the company."
Saskia flicked her long blonde hair back and pondered a moment. Taking the books from him she pushed them into a bag. “Yeah, thank you. Coffee might be just what the doctor ordered. She looked up at Frank, who towered six inches higher than her. “Yes, I’d love to join you.” She gratefully passed the bag of heavy books back to him when he offered to carry them and they made the ten minute walk away from the main building..
Welcoming wafts of coffee and the clatter of cups and cutlery mingling with intense chatter greeted the pair as they arrived at the student cafeteria.The cafe seemed pretty crowded as always post boring lectures, but luckily Frank spotted a vacant table. “You go and bag that table,” he said. “Here, make doubly sure with the book bag. I’ll get the coffee.
Saskia squeezed through a myriad of people to the table in question and sat down to wait for Frank who had headed through in the opposite direction to buy the drinks. Sitting down, Saskia put the elbows of her pink top on the table, and with hands together rested her chin on them. She noted, glancing around, how there seemed to be an unwritten uniform rule that students should wear jeans. She was no exception either, her stylish skinny blue ones.
Before long, Frank returned with coffee and biscuits. “I thought I’d treat you,. I don’t know many of the students here yet and you are the first one I’ve brought here, such as it is.”
Saskia put her arms down and reached for a biscuit. Her ice blue eyes sparkled as she gave a little laugh. “I don’t know many yet either.”
Their hands accidentally brushed across the table and simultaneous electrical sparks were felt by both Frank and Saskia. She retracted her hand shyly,with a dreamy look.
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Could she have caught noticce of him with soemthing more than friendship for ywo people who don't know anyone? I like this descriptiong. You captured the atmosphere perfectly. "Welcoming wafts of coffee and the clatter of cups and cutlery mingling with intense chatter greeted the pair as they arrived at the student cafeteria."
ReplyDeleteWow! You paint such a beautiful picture with your words. This very descriptive treatment of sceneries has always been your forte. Keep up the good work, I'd love to read more of the blossoming chemistry between your characters.
ReplyDeleteThere is some potential here, but I just don't feel any tension or real build-up between the two. Perhaps if they had first made flirtatious eye contact in the hall, been more overt, passed notes or something else, too, there might be more tension visible between them. That said, younr love is a very fertile playground for a writer, so forge on and build it up.. XO
ReplyDeleteCute! That spark can't go unnoticed!
ReplyDeleteAlways love me a gal names Saskia!
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